r u b b i s h
h i m
floating in happiness
staring blankly into his face
wanting to express the feeling
that no words could ever explain
adoring his childish ways
and giving in to his wishes
only for him. . .
keeping silent in arguments
absorbing those harsh words
that cuts my heart out. .
shedding tears. .
hiding fear and insecurities
coz i don’t want to quit.
unkept words,
sudden change
neglect and lies. .
trust wavering off
doubt is eating me now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
w a l l
i closed my eyes
thought of the happy times
the moments that linger in my mind
those times that I dreamed would never end;
times that i wish have stayed right up to this moment
not this distance that makes it hard for me to breathe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
w e a k
Walking, emotions dim as the early morning sky
Pouring the heavy burden it carries,
Rain drops calmly, breathing cool air
Admiring it for crying out freely.
Thoughts lost. . .empty. . .floating. . .
Scared. . .of what lies ahead
That weird, unknown, yet wonderful feeling
Now stings sharply on the inside
Walking idly on the wet street
Under the umbrella, playing. . .not knowing what to do
Indefinite steps onto the shallow flood
All strength gone, wanting to burst.
Afraid. . .I wanted to run
Seek for the answer if it will all be all right
Or maybe run. . .and hide
Let it all out through words and sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drowned
Sitting beside a stranger, with his child on his lap. . .
The mother kissing them goodbye. . .
I kept my distance. . . lost in thoughts,
Lonesome, I drowned myself into the sounds
Humming, emotions got me confused
Complicating thoughts filled my mind
Fears led me to doubt and have a dilemma
Heart and mind battling, I almost surrendered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
a l m o s t
Searching . . .
I can almost taste the sweetness;
Almost feel the comfort and care,
the kindness and thoughtfulness
shown to each and everyone.
But I can only sigh and breathe deep
for having it. .
almost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
F A L L
Taste the sweetness
Wipe your tears
Only feel the soft embrace
Of the lies that caress your face . . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mystery of a Smile
with bright eyes and a wide smile
a sound of contagious laughter
softly emanates the ears
gently erases the thought of worries and fears.
Appears to think of no worries
Looks strong as it faces thee
Cheers like there’s no tomorrow
Bothered not by yesterday.
Those teary-eyed smile, what lies beneath?
The sounds of laughter, what does it speak?
The happiness it shows, how deep is it?
Behind that humor, what does it think?
For in silence it grieves,
In loneliness sheds tears
The smile masks the pain
Brought by the feelings it bear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sickness Rising
On a state of blankness
feeling the sickness
not in despair but of hope
that has long wear off;
hope which became a dream
and will stay as a dream
that brings comfort
but in reality causes pain.
While it dwells in silence
the more it grows in my senses
this feeling of anonymity
A sickness that lives in me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
amidst the ocean
as the wind blows, the waves sway
deafening silence fills my head.
ocean so wide covers me in fear
seems to take me any day.
ocean creatures and its beauties
seems so dull and lifeless.
alone in here waiting
feeling empty in the midst of loneliness.
